Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Two of me

I'm up late tonight, Reader. The house is silent and I can see the darkness beyond this cone of light I sit in. I have work to do, a great deal of work. My eyes are burning and to shut them, just for a moment, is a great relief.

I wonder why I never thought about this before: how doing anything at all worthwhile is the product of so much effort, how I need to have voluble conversations with myself, motivating myself, each time forcing myself back to work when I drift away. I've drifted a great deal already, checked email, checked facebook, read the news, read my favourite blogs, and pushed myself back to work relentlessly, after each distraction. But I'm like a child with ADD. I only need a whiff of an idea to be away again, to pursue it, to do anything but what I ought. I ought to work intensely for two hours and then go calmly to bed. I wonder when I'll grow that mature.I just thought of you and here I am, typing away on this blog, when I ought to be working.

I can hear myself scolding.


  1. Bumped on yur blg, in the passing.
    U seem to be a dreamer like me. At 30, I understand dat is awful waste to drift.
    How is ur real life?
    Dreaming is fine so long as uve pepl to support. Wake up, wake up now.

  2. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

    Don't squelch it, but do keep it in check.